


Again

by honeyonpancakes



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eren helps Levi move on from the past, Heavy angst in the beginning but it gets better, Levi owns a bookstore au, Levi/Petra mentioned in past tense, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-04-06 09:36:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19060006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeyonpancakes/pseuds/honeyonpancakes
Summary: A tragic incident has left Levi in an emotional stupor. His past is a great obstacle that he has attempted and failed to cross for the last three years of his  life. However, after a newcomer starts visiting his bookstore routinely, his fate seems to begin to shift its weight.





	1. Denial

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first fan fiction. If this is bad, don’t be afraid to drag me, sis. Actually, drag me either way because it builds character. Hit me with your car. Anyways, in all seriousness, I hope this is at least a little bit enjoyable.
> 
> I also really hope this isn’t overly cheesy or melodramatic.

Another day in December slowly edged by. Levi sat at the front desk of the pleasantly hushed bookstore hunched over the third book he had read that week. He was half way through and thought he’d be sick. Another. Damn. Romance novel. Hange, a book representative and close friend, had sent a plethora of romance novels for that winter season. They claimed that the book club, composed primarily of mothers and older women, would crave them over the winter season due to all the snow. 

As much as Levi hated it, he had to admit that Hange was right. Book sales always went up during the winter months, and the book club, subsequently, became even more active. Though he didn’t necessarily have to, Levi always made a habit of reading every single book he decided to stock in his store. Even cheesy romance novels that he absolutely despised. But this hatred of love stories didn’t just stem from him not being a romantic; it had grown harsher and even more fervent as of late. 

A boy had moved into town over the past year to attend Sina University and often came into Levi's bookstore for a quiet place to work. At first, Levi hadn’t paid much mind to him. He sometimes didn’t even notice he’d come into the shop until he glanced up from his desk to look around. However, this glance had somehow turned into something more purposeful and aware over the course of a little more than a month.

That wasn’t the only thing he began to purposely do. Before he had started to grow more aware of his growing interest with the olive skinned boy, he had only ever looked up at the door bell subconsciously, on cue due to the noise. Now, he’d look to see if he could spot...him. 

The first real encounter with him, however, was when he first walked up to Levi's desk after a few weeks of coming into his bookstore to just work. Normally, Levi would grow annoyed at a resident who would come into the store and not bother to purchase anything, only to sit around and waste air, but he was somehow different. He had always come in alone and never spoke a word to anyone. Just sat at the back table, took notes on his laptop, poured over mountains of textbooks, and after a couple of hours, would leave.

So, this was a surprise to Levi when he came up to his desk. Levi had initially noticed a presence but hadn’t looked up. "Mrs. Kirschtein, I guess I’ll take the recipe for the mushroom and chicken casserole if you want me to have it that badly." Much to his chagrin, the sweet and elderly feminine voice that he had expected to reply to him was a smooth and deep masculine one, "Sounds delicious, but I actually need to purchase this book." Levi looked up and suddenly noticed a lump forming in his throat. He quickly swallowed it and was fast to reply, "Oh, I apologize." Levi attempted to brush off any embarrassment he had, not venturing to explain himself to the attractive stranger, and nonchalantly avoided his gaze. He took the book from the boy and scanned it at the register. "Have you read it before?" Levi looked down at the book. It was titled 'A History of the Town of Shiganshina.' "Yes, I have." Levi replied curtly. He immediately regretted sounding so harsh, but everytime he’d get flustered, he’d always speak as few words as possible. Well, even fewer words. 

"Ahh. My history professor is making us do a report on the town. It’s actually my hometown, but I really don’t know much about its past." Levi didn’t know what to say to this and instead just bagged the book. "Your total is $20.35." What the hell was he doing? He could have at least made a little conversation. The boy ran his card through the slit and completed the transaction. "Receipt?" Levi questioned. "Sure." Levi tucked the receipt into the bag and handed it to the boy. As he looked up, he caught sight of one of the most beautiful gazes he had ever seen. Blue eyes with green hues to accent, almost a turquoise color. This, coupled with the messy bun and lose pieces of hair almost made him weak at the knees. Levi had known that he appeared attractive but had never seen him this up close. 

Taking it, he smiled and said, "I’m Eren by the way. Just thought you might want to know since I’ve been coming to your store for like a month now." As he turned away, Levi added, "I'm Levi. Thanks for actually buying something this time." He said without a slight trace hinting toward that being a playful comment. Eren didn’t spare the time to take offense and instead laughed as he exited the store, “I’ll keep a mental note to buy more books then."

Ever since that day, Levi had started to harbor a true infatuation with Eren. To make matters even 'worse' for Levi, Eren had been coming in more frequently, staying longer, and even started purchasing more books, upholding his indirect promise of becoming a regular customer. Hange, being a frequent visitor, had picked up on this and would often poke fun at him about it. 

Hange pranced up to Levi just as he turned the page of the current book he was reading, "Helloooo, Levi!" They chimed as they leaned against the front desk. Levi looked up, his tired eyes surveying Hange as he closed the book, "Carful, you may just scare off the customers." Hange laughed, going behind the desk, "No, I think you already drove them off with your excessively friendly demeanor." Levi rolled his eyes, "Haha, so amusing." Hange huddled closer as they loosely laced their arms around Levi's neck from behind, coming in just above a whisper, "Buuut, I will tell you who you haven’t drove off..." They chuckled. 

'Here we go again.' Levi thought with a grimace. "Don’t start, Hange. I’m really not in the mood." This only provoked them more. "The way I see you look at him, I’d venture to say otherwise, my dear friend." At this, Levi's cheeks felt undeniably warm. Hange had a knack for making nearly anyone uncomfortable if they really wanted to, and he was no exception. As a matter of fact, he was their primary target. Clearing his throat, he cautiously, and quietly, snapped back, "That’s disgusting. I don’t even know him, and he is way too young for me." 

"Oh, here we go again." Hange moaned, finally letting go of Levi and rolling over a stool to sit on. "It’s not like he’s a child. Levi, he’s 22." Levi gave her a concerned glance, "And how exactly do you know this information?" Hange rolled in closer, unwrapping a mint that they fished out of one of Levi's drawers. Popping it into their mouth, they gave a cheeky grin, "Unlike you, I’m absolutely amazing at small talk. Plus, I’ve been doing a lot of 'behind the scenes work.'" They rolled the paper around in between their hands and tossed it swiftly into the trash bin, muttering, "Just wish you would stop being such a hard ass and do your part."

At this, Levi froze and cold sweat started to form in his palms, "Hange." He growled lowly, "Can you tell me what the actual fuck you mean by that?" Sighing, they kicked their feet up on the desk, "Relax, I’ve just been recommending Eren-" Levi cringed and glared at Hange before whispering, "Don’t say his name! And get your damn feet off my desk!" Hange shook their head, giving an edgy smirk as they put their feet down and rolled in closer, "I've been recommending him books to buy. I’ve also been putting in good words about you."

"What do you mean by 'good words'?" Levi demanded. "I mean that I’ve told him how long you’ve owned the store. How good you are at keeping things up around here. How you’ve read every single book you’ve had stocked in the store. How you love long walks on the beach during sunsets with pretty boys." Levi cringed at all of what Hange spouted but especially cringed at the last part, "Hange, I swear to god-" They interrupted, "It was just a joke. The last part. Jeez, you’re so ill tempered. But my point is, is that he seemed pretty impressed with you. He even seemed to want to know which books you had liked best." She looked straight at Levi, "Said he trusted your judgement but didn’t want to ask you personally. Said he didn’t want to be 'bothersome'."

The raven haired man looked away from Hange and looked down at his desk. This had made him feel guilty. Eren had always been nice to Levi, judging from the few interactions they’d had to together, and for him to make such a beautiful and seemingly kind person feel 'bothersome,' it made him feel like a total asshole. His gray eyes traveled back to Hange, "That means absolutely nothing. Maybe he just really started getting interested in reading and just wanted some recommendations, so he asked you because it was more convenient." Levi reasoned.

"Or maybe he just really started getting interested in you." Hange placed their hand on Levi's, "Levi, it’s been so long-"

"Don’t."

Hange gripped his hand tighter, this time forcing his hard stare to meet them, "It's been three years, Levi. You don’t have to deny yourself love. You don’t have to feel guilt for being interested in someone else." They came in closer, “She wouldn’t want you to refuse yourself happiness just becau-"

"Hange, stop! Just stop." He raised his voice and pulled away from her grip, attempting to collect himself, "Listen, I’m just fine on my own."

Hange frowned and let out a deep sigh before getting up. "Levi..." they paused. He looked up at them, the hesitation in their voice clear. 

"No...You’re not." 

With that, they walked out from behind the desk and headed toward the door, leaving Levi to mull over their conversation.


	2. She

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my shot at being a little angsty, I hope this isn’t too over the top.

After closing the store, Levi headed up the familiar staircase that was tucked on the right wall past the main desk. A pair of keys jingling between his fingers was the only thing to break the silence that Levi feared every night after 9:00 as he unlocked the door.

The fear of this hushed setting seemed to be ever more fervent tonight. 

As he entered the small living space, he took off his shoes and placed them neatly on a hand painted turquoise and yellow shoe rack. Levi had always thought it didn’t match, but he couldn’t find it in himself to get rid of it. 

She had painted it, and it had already been overwhelming difficult enough to get rid of her shoes that had sat beside his for six years.

He walked quietly through the hallway, almost as if he was searching for a way to sneak up on the silence and smother it with some kind of sound. 

Entering the kitchen, he flipped on the light and turned on the faucet. He tensed at the sudden noise but nevertheless rolled up his sleeves and lathered his hands with dish liquid. He washed carefully in between his fingers, under his nails, and around his wrist, scrubbing his palms and zoning out as the soapy suds thickened. 

After about a minute, Levi forced himself out of his bout of subconscious procrastination and rinsed his hands well in the now hot water. The faucet made a squeaking noise as he turned it off. He then dried off his hands with a dish towel. He stilled.

In this pause, he let the hushed environment engulf him. It washed over him like chilled water. The memory he had been dreading all day had finally caught up to him. It had slithered ever so gradually and coiled itself around his mind like a predatory snake. This was the day it happened. The day he had dreaded for the last two years had made its third cruel appearance. 

On December 18, Levi experienced the most defining moment in his life. 

The snow fell in clumps, littering the road with a fresh blanket of white in spite of the efforts of the passing salt trucks and scrappers throughout the day. Muted ghostly slivers of the moonlight filtered into the kitchen, covered slightly by ebbing clouds. 

Levi had closed the store for the night and had his phone pressed against his ear as he waited for an answer. 

"Hey, Levi." A feminine voice greeted him. 

"Petra, are you off work yet?"

An exasperated sigh was let out by the woman, "No, I got held up. Had to take a blood sample from a patient, but I should be off in about an hour."

"Good. I’ll go ahead and start on dinner, then." Levi balance the phone between his shoulder and ear as he wash his hands. 

"That’s sweet..." She trailed off, a mischievous note in her voice, "Buuut, you’re still not forgiven." 

He arched his brow, drying his hands before realization washed over him, "You’re still upset about the kitchen curtain thing?" 

The couple had been out shopping for new dish towels and rags when Petra had come across a pair of pastel purple and teal argyle printed curtains. She thought they’d match perfectly with the kitchen. 

Levi thought they were egregious. 

However, through hesitant compromise, Levi picked out a set of gray towels and rags, and Petra had purchased the curtains. 

She giggled, "Yes, I am. I can’t believe you think they’re ugly. My feelings are still hurt." 

"Awe, honey" A small smile spread across his face as he spoke in mock sympathy, "At least they’re a step up from that hideous yellow throw rug. Maybe your taste is getting a bit better." He paused, his smile turning into a grin, "Or maybe I’m just becoming a little more immune to dorm room decor after so many years."

"It sure took you long enough! But, as much as I’d love to listen to you critic me, I have to get back to work." Levi could hear the light shuffling of papers in the background as he preheated the oven and began to prepare dinner. 

"Mmm, sorry that you have such a shitty shift this week."

"Yeah, I know. I’ll be home soon though. I love you." 

"I love you too. Be safe." With that, Levi ended the call. 

He sliced and seasoned thawed chicken he had retrieved from the fridge and placed it on a baking sheet covered in aluminum foil. He then put broccoli and cauliflower on the stove to steam and began boiling water for rice. 

After he put the chicken and rice on, the evening seemed to go by even quicker. He burned through left over mundane paper work, finished up placing orders on book shipments, and immersed himself a memoir from the current season’s catalogue. 

Levi glanced at the time, and it had been around an hour since Petra had called. 

Perfect. Dinner would be done just in time.

He took the chicken out before turning the oven and stove burners off. Covering the food, he returned to his book and continued reading as he waited. 

He had lost himself yet again in the memoir before looking at the clock. It was half past twelve, an hour and a half later.

Petra still hadn’t made it home.

Levi got out his phone and thought to call her again. He scrolled through his contacts and pulled up her number. For some reason, he felt a subtle off feeling. He tried calling her. 

The phone rang and Levi waited. It wasn’t necessarily rare for her to get held up longer at the hospital, but she usually always called to tell him. The phone rang one more time before it went to voicemail:

"Hey, this is Petra Ackerman. Please leave a message or call back." 

Levi pocketed his phone. 'She's probably busy.' He thought, trying to dispel any scenario of something bad happening to her. 

Levi reluctantly closed his book, yawning and pinching the bridge of his nose before shutting his eyes. The sound of the fridge quietly buzzing in the background and a dog barking outside fading into the background as he drifted into a light sleep.

Another hour had crept passed. 

Amidst Levi's oblivious doze, a knock reverberated throughout the house, waking him. Letting out a silent and haggard yawn, he checked the time.

1:46

The knock sounded again. It must be Petra; she must have forgotten her house key. Levi shot up and made his way down the hallway to the back door. He unlocked it and opened it to reveal Dot Pixis, the chief of police.

"Hello, Officer Pixis." Levi greeted, trying to rid any confusion or drowsiness out of his voice.

"Levi-" Pixis began but faltered. The expression on his aged face was grim, and the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes seemed to become more prominent. "Levi, may I come in?"

Levi knitted his brows together, a lump suddenly forming in his throat. It didn’t take him long to sober up from his nap as he noticed something wrong with this picture. Petra still wasn’t there. Petra wasn’t the one at the door, it was the chief of police. He had to force his tone to remain steady as his worry returned, this time as something much more intense instead of a mere superficial nag burrowed in the back of his mind, "Yeah, come in." Pixis walked through the door, ushering in a chilled breeze from the frigid outside. Levi shut it, locking it back. 

Pixis turned to him, "Can we sit down somewhere?"

"The kitchen." Levi said shortly. He led the way down the hallway. It felt somehow narrower and longer to Levi. It felt smothering and hot as Levi made it to the kitchen table. The smell of the dinner he had prepared lingered in air, but it made him feel sick for some reason. 

Levi sat in one of the wooden chairs by the table which was covered in a gray cloth. The older man silently joined him. The grave expression Pixis wore had not improved. As a matter of fact, it looked as if it had worsened. 

"Levi. I need you to brace yourself." He said as he made direct eye contact with him.  
Levi sat in silence for a few moments. Throughout the years of knowing Pixis, he had never seen him act so serious and solemn. Levi hoped, he desperately wished that this was a coincidence and had nothing to do with his wife and that she would walk into the kitchen at any moment and ask why Pixis was there. Steering himself away from his anxiety, he finally nodded his head. Looking back at the older man, he calmly asked, "What is it?" 

"Petra was involved in a car accident." 

Levi's stomach dropped, and the color seemed to drain out of his face. Immediately, the calm in his voice had seemed to vanish faster than it had been acquired, "I-Is she okay?"

"Levi…" He began only to abruptly pause, choosing his words in a careful manner. He spoke slowly, allowing Levi to soak in the weight of the situation, "She didn’t make it. She passed…she passed as soon as it happened."

Everything went silent. The whole world seemed to halt, and Levi could only hear the loud and deafening thump of his heart beating against his rib cage like a trapped bird. 

Levi felt trapped. 

"She was driving down the Maria Street intersection when a college student, Annie Leonhart, had been speeding and lost control of her car on the ice." He stopped for a few seconds then proceeded, "This caused her to hit Petra, and Petra swerved. Her car hit a tree in a ditch. The crash...caused her to pass on impact." 

A crippling and muted moment passed. 

"Oh."

He cleared his throat, "What happened to the student?"

The chief went on, "Annie was rushed to the ICU at the hospital. She is currently in a coma."

"Oh." Levi repeated. 

Somehow, he started to feel weightless. He could no longer look at Pixis, so he instead fixed his gray gaze to the hardwood beneath him that oddly began to feel like quicksand.

Levi wanted to pretend Pixis wasn’t there, that he was alone in his kitchen and that Petra was on her way home from work. 

He looked at the palms of his hands. They felt like they were feet away from him. The room started to become stretched and contorted. 

Levi was nauseous. 

"I’m very sorry, Levi. Know that I truly am." Pixis placed a wrinkled hand on his shoulder. Levi sat there unmoving for what seemed like hours. Using what little bit of cognitive function he had left in the moment, he forced his gaze up at Pixis, "It’s okay. I just…" Pixis waited patiently, not attempting to coax or prod the rest of the sentence out of him. 

"I just really need to be alone right now. I'm tired." Pixis gave him an empathic stare before moving his hand away. "Is there anything I can do for you, Levi? Anyone I can call for you?" 

"No. I-..." Levi's voice cracked, his pain becoming more and more evident. He cleared his throat, "I just need some sleep."

"I understand." Pixis got up from his seat, not wanting to overwhelm Levi anymore than he ready had, "I’m sorry that this happened. And I’m sorry that I had to be the one to tell you."

"It’s okay." Levi's voice came just above a whisper. "Can I be alone now?"

The officer frowned and nodded his head, "I’ll lock the back door for you, Levi." Pixis almost seemed to disappear as his footsteps faded. His departure concluding with a door being opened and shortly pulled back together. 

Just like that, he had delivered the most painful piece of news Levi had ever received. 

Levi sat completely unmoving for several moments, completely and utterly alone.

Without thinking, he got up. He felt like he left his mind in the kitchen, and his body was moving on his own accord.

He stumbled down the hall and towards their bedroom. The knob felt like putty in his hands as he turned it. Not even bothering to prepare for bed, let alone flip the light switch on, Levi pulled back the sheets and laid down, covering himself to the bottoms of his ear lobes. 

The sheets were fragrant with the floral perfume she wore, and the cases on her pillows had the aromatic scent of her shampoo. 

She couldn’t be gone. 

Her jewelry was still on the ottoman, and her mug was in the dish strainer. Her hairbrush was on the bathroom vanity, and every piece of ugly decor she picked out was still scattered throughout the house.

She wasn’t gone. 

Levi would wake up beside her the next morning and hear her groggy but soft voice telling him to get up. He would see her bright amber eyes, and her sweet smile. He would bury his face in her feathery ginger hair like he always had, and everything would be okay because Petra was still alive.

These were the last thoughts Levi could recall as he drifted off into a sleep that felt like a strange high that night. 

Three years later, he still wished she’d come back but had long come to the clobbering realization that she never would. He clenched his jaw at the vivid   
recollection that continued to harrow him. 

He’d even occasionally pondered what the outcome would have been like had he not called her. Would she have gotten off earlier and been able to miss the accident by a few minutes? Was it partially his fault for holding her up? 

These type of thoughts tortured him.

Levi wanted to call someone, possibly Hange or maybe another close friend of his, Erwin. He needed so badly to talk, but his pride kept him from it. He didn’t want pity, especially after three years. 

He didn’t want to be known as some widowed basket case who couldn’t cope, but that’s exactly what he was at this point. Maybe if he tried harder to act as if the wound was healed, it would be. Maybe if he just pretended that the pain was gone, it would be. 

Maybe if he kept lying to himself that everything was okay now, it would be.


	3. Late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna be honest with you chief, I really don’t know where this story is headed. This chapter is supposed to be from Eren's perspective, but I think I’m really bad at writing for Eren, so I’m sorry if I made him a bit too irritating. That's just how I low key see him (please Eren stans don’t come for me). This is hot garbage, so I apologize in advance.

The subdued artificial light that lit the streets poured in through Eren's window. All appeared calm until his relentlessly loud alarm went off for the fifth time in the span of almost an hour. Letting a soft moan of resentment out, Eren half-heartedly searched for his phone, having forgotten where he placed it when he last hit snooze.

As he felt around under the pillows and between the soft sheets, his door swung open to reveal his roommate.

"Can you maybe turn that damn thing off for good this time?" 

Eren looked up, his groggy vision trying to focus, "Jean...jus.." He tried to shake himself to finish his sentence, but the remanence of the hangover headache he harbored seemed to hammer along to the sound of his alarm. 

"Maybe if you hadn’t gotten so blackout drunk last night," Jean briskly made his way over to Eren's bed, bending over and picking up his phone. He turned the alarm off and set it on the nightstand, "you'd realize that your phone is on the floor, dumbass."

He propped himself up on his forearms, "mmh, someone’s in a great mood as always tonight," Gaining more consciousness, Eren mischievously gazed through messy bits of brunette hair, "did mommy not visit you to make you dinner, Jean-boy?"

Baring his teeth, Jean's cheeks formed a faintly pink tint, "Don’t you have to be at work by 8:00? Because it’s 7:43." 

"What?" 

"Yeah, you’re late. Maybe this is a sign that day drinking on weekends, or in general, is a pretty shitty idea."

"Dammit!" Eren flung the sheets over and practically jumped out of bed. Having one leg tangled in the sheet, he hit the floor with a thud. 

"I'll leave you to it then. That is if you can even drive yourself to work." Jean gave a smug look, leaving the room.

Eren clenched his teeth partly due to Jean's attitude and partly to the fact that he felt like he broke his leg. Not wasting any longer, he got up and popped open the bottle of Motrin on his nightstand. He took three and hurried into the bathroom, nearly tripping again over a stray shoe. He stripped what clothes he had on off and hopped into the shower, turning the water on. The water hit him like a cold torrent causing him to utter a string of curses under his breath. When the water finally reached a decent temperature, Eren lathered soap into his hair and quickly scrubbed his body. 

Though he was clad in suds, he reached over to the sink and retrieved his toothpaste and toothbrush, not minding to bother with floss. 

'I’m so late. I’m so fucking late. How did I let this happen again?' Eren frantically thought. He rinsed his body and finished brushing his teeth, turning the water off and grabbing his towel. He left the bathroom and maneuvered through his cramped and unkempt room, leaving a path of puddles. 

Eren looked frantically in the floor for his black button up shirt and found it under the bed. Throwing on the shirt, he put on underwear and pulled on a pair of black pants, finishing the uniform it off with a purple tie and brass colored name tag that simply read 'Eren,' 

He looked at the time on his phone.

7:54

Eren grabbed his keys and ran down the hallway. Just as he swung the door open, he heard Jean's voice,

"Hey, next time you decide to make like eight Eggo waffles during your drunken binge sessions, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t leave syrup all over the countertops. It’s a pain in the ass to clean." Jean then took on a more serious expression, "And Mikasa called me this morning because she couldn't get a hold of you. If I were you, I’d call her."

Facing his roommate, Eren narrowed his eyes, "Okay, whatever, I’ll clean it up when I get back." Ignoring the last part of what Jean had said, he turned back around and made his way out the door.

He rushed out to his car and soon backed out, barely missing the mailbox before speeding down the road. 

7:57

Barring down on the gas pedal, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. 

"Great. Perfect timing, bet I know who it is." He clenched one hand to the stirring wheel and looked at the screen. It was Mikasa.

"Of course, wouldn’t have it any other way if she wasn’t up my ass."

He hesitantly answered the phone, knowing that if he didn’t she’d call back at least three more times,

"Yeah, hello."

"Eren, are you okay? I called, and Jean said you were drinking again. Eren, all this is eventually going to start catching up with you. I’m worried." 

"I’m fine. And it was just a couple of drinks. I’m on my way to work now." Eren suppressed a scoff and tried to focus on the road. 

Mikasa sighed, "Eren if something is going on that you’re not telling me about...I-I want you to know that I’m here for you and that you can talk to me. I know how stressed you’ve been with school, and I know that your schedule has been hectic..."

Eren tepidly listened to her, allowing her voice to blend into the background. He had heard it all before, and she sounded mundane to him. A humdrum voice belonging to someone that he at first regretfully started to shut out but now was beginning to not care if she ever spoke another word to him again or not. 

Not only were her words trivial, but she was too. 

"Yeah. I’m fine, though." He curtly responded on cue to the pause. 

"Eren...you’re not listening to me, are you?" Mikasa softly questioned, her tone hinting vague hurt. Interestingly, that was all it was. There wasn’t any bit of bitterness or frustration, just hurt. 

"That’s fine...just...be safe tonight. Please."

"Yeah. Will do." 

A silence was left stagnant between them for a few seconds before Mikasa cleared her throat, "Oh and...I was wondering if maybe you’d like to go out for coffee Wednesday. Our classes end around the same time, so if you’re not busy..." 

This roused Eren, but only by a little. He had to take a conscious moment to conjure up some bullshit excuse like he always did to avoid her, "I think I’m working Wednesday afternoon so probably not. Sorry."

Mikasa's voice came just above a whisper, her words seeming to sound even smaller, "Oh. Well, that’s okay..."

Another silence passed. 

"I guess I’ll go. I’ll talk to you later. Bye, Eren. Be safe."

"Bye." Eren ended the call.

8:00

————————————

After Eren had pulled his car into a reserved parking lot, he threw on his jacket and made his way briskly down a back street of downtown Maria. Despite the temperature being cold, and the snow piling at the sides of the walkway, the area was lively, lite up with Christmas lights wrapped around street lamps, bright neon signs in store windows, passerby’s chatting and walking in large groups, and the thick and tempting smells coming from surrounding restaurants. 

Ironically enough, Eren always felt most alone on nights like 

Turning a corner, he straightened his tie and pushed open the black tinted glass door of a restaurant.

Despite being Monday, the restaurant had a hefty amount of people. Eren groaned to himself before turning to see Sasha, a co-worker, at the front standing behind a small podium, "Eren, you’re late! Mr. Reeves is going to be so pissed. This is like, what, the fourth time in like the span of a week?" Sasha giggled, placing her hand over her mouth, "And I thought I was bad with being on time."

Eren scowled, "I'm here now, and it’s not even eight thirty yet." 

She playfully swatted his arm with a menu, "I’m only kidding, loosen up a bit."

He ignored this and made his way past her towards the dark wooden and glossy coated bar. A wide assortment of alcohol was splayed out neatly on the shelves behind it, illuminated in the subtle glow of purple and blue ombre lighting. 

A cropped haired boy turned toward Eren after serving a vibrantly green drink with a mint garnish to a customer, "You finally here to take over? Thought I’d have work your entire shift." 

"Don’t start, Connie. Sasha played that card tonight, and I’m tired of hearing it already." 

Connie snickered, "Then if you’re so tired of hearing it, maybe try to be on time for once."

Eren sighed in partial defeat, "Yeah, okay. I know I need to work on that, but I’m here, so go ahead and get your ass home." 

"Gladly." He grabbed his jacket from under the counter and was fast to clock out. As he passed Eren, he grinned, "Have fun tonight."

Eren looked from Connie to the growing amount of customers. Not allowing himself anytime to focus on how long and gruesome his shift would be, or Connie's annoying comment, he busied himself by clocking in and filling in Connie's place. 

Eren faced his first customer with a forced but nevertheless charismatic smile, "Good evening, what can I get for you tonight?"

After the first order was taken, Eren's shift seemed to take off. The music in the bar seemed to ease him into a comfortable rhythm as he mixed drinks and made small talk with regular patrons and new costumers. His hospitality wasn’t a complete act, but he kept his attitude polite and charming with tips in mind. After all, this was just another one of his facades. He prided himself in being able to put on such intricate fronts. 

Eren often wondered how he had gone from being so passionate to feeling like everything in his life was a tedious chore.

As he topped off a drink with a cleanly cut wedge of lime and brought it over to a brunette woman, he noticed a familiar face walk into the restaurant. 

It was Hange. He had spoken to them on multiple occasions at the bookstore and had served them at the bar regularly. It wasn’t a shock to see them, but what captivated Eren was the fact that Hange was accompanied by two other people. One of the two was a tall and dapper blonde haired man who he didn’t recognize. The other was Levi; the dark haired and handsome bookstore owner. While Eren found him to be undeniably and almost painfully attractive, he also found him to be quite intimidating. 

In spite of having shortly spoken to Levi on a few occasions, he had never run into him outside the bookstore, and he never would have imagined to see him at the bar especially on his shift.

Immediately, he could feel his heart begin to thud a beat quicker as he realized that the trio was making their way over. Even though he felt caught off guard, he hastily composed himself,


End file.
